mummy needs...a second blog?

Ok, I'll hold my hands up - it's been quiet here lately.  The main reason for this is...ta da!  My Other Blog.  I don't want to seem disloyal - I feel a bit like I'm 'cheating' on mummyneedscoffee but I decided I needed a blog which was a bit less - how shall I put this - 'maternal' and more of a 'shop window' for my writing.  So Jules, Jam & Journalism will, I think, be a bit more general.  This beloved, original blog, will stick to what it knows best: coffee and motherhood!

I think I minor makeover is required, so watch this space for a slight image change in the next wee while...

Coffee cup (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

mummy needs...coffee and tiffin

Today I am mostly drinking...

Costa Americano (medio) with a lovely Belgian Chocolate Tiffin.  Mmm...

mummy needs...to have fun with a toddler!

My mother in law has abandoned us for warmer climes - Australia to be precise.  So I find myself without the childcare I've been accustomed to on a Monday and Tuesday.  I still have the childminder in place for Thursdays and Fridays but essentially I feel like a proper part-time mum again.  This was a bit daunting at first, as until recently days at home with BabyGirl were boring, long and usually made me feel like picking up the Job Ads and applying for the first full-time role I could find.  However, it's week one and I'm surviving!  The sunnier weather is helping - a trip to the park can kill a whole hour by the time you walk there, play, walk back, and then you get to have a sit-down and a snack...much better than being stuck indoors in the freezing cold winter.  I've also got a few ideas up my sleeve for things we can do if the park ever loses its appeal (yeah, right?!).  The bottom line is, I'm kind of enjoying spending time with BabyGirl.  She's peaking in cuteness just now, communicates well, plays easily and is generally quite entertaining to be around.  I'm trying to make the most of it, as I'm aware that, with the number of jobs and freelance contracts I'm seeking at the moment, this free time with her could be quickly curtailed.  And even if none of that materialises, the day will come quickly enough when I'm waving her off at the school gate along with BigGirl.  Time flies, so I'm going to have fun.

mummy needs...a Mother's Day Meme!

Yay!  My first meme!  I've been tagged by yummymummyreally to take part in a maternally-themed meme.  Ok, so it's a day late for Mother's Day but I was too busy being fed breakfast in bed, sniffing my flowers and reading my cards to take part yesterday...!

Describe motherhood in three words

Busy.  Fulfilling.  Awesome.

Does your experience differ from your mother's?  How?

I don't think our experiences differ greatly, but perhaps in small ways.  Age-wise we were both in our twenties, but my mum had us quite close together - there's only about a year and a half between me and my brother.  This was something I was sure I did NOT want to do - handle a toddler and a newborn at once - so we left a three and a half year gap between our two.  My mum didn't work until we were school-age - again, I'm sure I do NOT want to be a stay-at-home mum and have been working part-time since BigGirl was born.  In other ways, I reckon we're pretty similar.  We were brought up in a good-living, fairly conservative Christian household and I'm now doing my best to bring my girls up with the same faith, values and morality because it's something very important and valuable to us.

What's the hardest thing about being a mum?

The 24/7-ness of it all.  I remember the realisation slamming into me like a sledgehammer, the first night at home with BigGirl.  I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep all night, but I just could not do that - and wouldn't be able to be 'free' to do that for quite some time.  You're never 'off-duty', even when you're apart from them, or sick, or utterly, utterly knackered.   It's an overwhelming feeling sometimes.  Also trying to find your way back into work or a career or a new venture - balancing this with your family life is HARD.

What's the best thing?

Bedtime - ha!  Only joking (sort of?!), it's the sense of being complete, a unit, all going forward together and enjoying things together - small things, like a meal or a game, right up to family holidays or events.

How has it changed you?

It's broadened my horizons in a lot of ways - I perceive things differently, I've learned a lot of new things and I think I'm probably wiser and more engaged with life.  My life isn't on the narrow little path that it was before, it's opened up to all kinds of different areas, and hopes and joys and experiences.

What do you hope for your children?

I hope they'll have a good relationship with God.  That way I know they'll have peace and joy, hope and fulfilment no matter what else happens in their lives.

What do you fear for them?

Just any kind of serious illness, harm or accident - I just have to block out any of these thoughts on a daily basis or I think we would never leave the house!

What makes it all worthwhile?

Kairos time.  The blogger Glennon Melton wrote about this perfectly - they're the little moments where you just feel time stand still and have an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness for this little person that YOU MADE.  A wee smile or a giggle, or watching them eat chocolate, or dance or do the actions from a TV programme.  Seeing them develop in some small way before your very eyes, so that you have to catch the eye of their father and share a little moment.  THAT makes all the other crap you have to cope with worthwhile!!

So, there we have it, my first meme!

mummy needs...female role models

As it's International Women's Day I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and share with you three of my female heroes.  I love these ladies and want to be like them.  They're successful on their own terms, funny, and - look away, feminists - they wear great shoes.

Tina Fey - she wears glasses (like me), has normal hair (like me), has two daughters (like me), is smart and funny (like me??) and has created hit TV comedy 30 Rock (errr...).  I love her.

Caitlin Moran - her columns in The Times literally make me LOL, nay ROFL, and I only wish my writing could be as witty and sometimes also as moving and poignant.  Read her book How To Be A Woman and consider becoming a sort of feminist who thinks bras are actually quite important.

Mary Portas - The hair!  The outspoken views!  The power!  The shoe range for Clarks!  Need I say more?

When I made this list, I realised my top three heroines share a few qualities - they're good with words, witty and eloquent; they're powerful but normal (ish!); they know their own minds; they're working mothers who are proving successful in their field.  I think this is the kind of woman I aspire to be.

Feel free to share your female role models below...or convince me of someone else I should like more?!

mummy needs...coffee news

I've just discovered Starbucks is to add an extra shot of espresso to its coffee drinks, because so many customers are routinely ordering double-strength lattes and cappuccinos.  I can understand why they would - usually Starbucks make these drinks like coffee-flavoured milk and I certainly think they need the extra shot.  It's why I would usually go to Costa for a cappuccino (but Starbucks for filter - their filter coffee is great).  Plus I'm clearly part of the population who is "becoming too tolerant of normal servings of caffeine"

mummy needs...BAZINGA!!

Let's lighten the mood a tad after yesterday's post...I LOVE The Big Bang Theory.  It's funny.  And the actress who used to be Blossom is in it.  That's why I was so interested to spy this blog yesterday.  Not only does Mayim Bialik play a doctor of neuroscience - she IS a doctor of neuroscience!  How cool is that??  Plus she's written a book about attachment parenting.  She is fast becoming one of my heroines...